Panhandling is not particularly pleasant, or I'd be sitting outside the subway jiggling a McDonald's cup seeded with bait change. Fact is, though, costs attach to producing these eruptions of outrage and sedition -- not much more than $1K a year in direct costs, but lots more in time which, for a freelance purveyor of lies and distortion, is money lost. Granted, you didn't ask me to do it. You don't owe me anything. On the other hand, these curiosities seem to amuse a lot of people, who of course may have too much time on their hands.

FRED REED
827 Union Pacific Blvd.
PMB 71-512
LAREDO, TX? 78045-9452

This isn't a strong-arm approach. The column will continue anyway. I'm not actually dying. Why, you might ask, should you pay for my hobby when I don't pay for your hang-gliding? Think about something else. But in a moment of reduced alertness, especially if you are filthy rich from exploiting orphans and oppressing children in iron lungs, a few small bucks would sure help. That funny-looking little button below that says "Donate" works. Or send a massive check to

Your kids don't need to go to college anyway.