Buy Fred's vile and seditious books. Isotropically offensive, guaranteed unwholesome, they have sent whole PTAs into anaphylactic shock. Good thing, too. Little good can be said about these compendia of outrageous columns, which is the best thing that can be said about them.
And they may have dirty pictures so buy all of them to find out. They ship in plain brown wrappers marked "Deviant Sex Books" to protect your reputation in case your neighbors are spying on you. Which, these days, they probably are, in the pay of the FBI. Your money back if you find even one undernourished orphaned molecule of wholesomeness. Use them to poison roaches.
Fred's books (see below) are available through Amazon.